Tinder's height filter divides daters - 'My boyfriend is 5ft 6in but it doesn't matter'

3 hours ago 3

Maia Davies & Emily Holt

BBC News

BBC Ashley, a young woman with long brown hair wearing a sleeveless top, takes a selfie with Joe, a young man with blonde hair wearing a grey suit jacket, white shirt and grey tie.BBC

Ashley (right) is 5ft 1in (1.5m) and says her partner Joe's height was never a consideration while swiping

Joe is somewhat shorter than the average American man, at 5ft 6in (1.6m) - but when Ashley came across his Tinder profile last year, the last thing she was thinking about was Joe's height.

"We were talking about our hobbies and passions," Ashley says, "not superficial things."

News that the dating app where Ashley and Joe found love is trialling a new feature - allowing some premium users to filter potential matches according to their height - was met with mixed reactions earlier this week.

While daters like Ashley worry it might stifle possible connections, others say the feature might actually help shorter men find a match.

Tinder's trial is running in "limited" parts of the world, excluding the UK, with the feature only available to those who pay for its two highest subscription tiers. Tinder has not told the BBC which countries it is being trialled in.

It works by informing the app's matching algorithm based on a user's stated preference, rather than filtering out certain users altogether. But online reaction to its launch has ranged from amusement to outrage.

"Tinder just declared war on short kings," wrote one social media user, while another said they'd be "using the Tinder height filter to filter out all men taller than 5ft 9in".

Another commented: "I don't care what Tinder says - short kings are elite."

Ashley, from Wisconsin, says she understands why height can be a deal-breaker for some daters - but that wasn't the case for her.

"I've heard people talk: 'I can't wear heels or my partner will look shorter,'" the 24-year-old says, "but that's never mattered to me".

Joe is "just such an amazing person", she says, it wouldn't matter to her "if he was six feet tall or five feet tall".

Using a height filter might actually have prevented her and Joe from ever meeting, she adds - and she reckons others could be missing out too.

Ashley, a young woman with long brown hair wearing a grey top, takes a selfie with Joe, a young man with blonde hair wearing a white shirt and grey tie who is kissing her on the cheek.

Ashley and Joe moved in together after a year of dating

Joe, meanwhile, says Tinder's height filtering feature could actually make dating harder for shorter men.

"Limiting yourself to physical things about someone will lessen your opportunities and chances of finding a partner," he says. "Height shouldn't matter when you're looking for forever."

The 27-year-old says his own dating experience hadn't "all been so bad" and that his matches had judged him based on his personality, rather than his height.

But he thinks the new Tinder filter might affect other users' chances of meaningful connections.

Tinder is not breaking new ground here - seasoned swipers will be familiar with various kinds of filter, which are now common features of dating apps including in the UK.

Hinge, a key Tinder competitor, already allows paying users to filter matches according to their height. Other filters include education level, religion, and checking whether potential matches smoke, drink or take drugs.

Bumble allows premium users to avoid matches with certain star signs, while paying Grindr users can filter by body type.

But as the world's largest dating app, Tinder's experiment with height filtering still has huge significance, and has sparked discussion in Britain too.

At 5ft 9in, Matt Heal, from Manchester, says he feels jaded about the online dating scene.

Matt's around average height for a man in the UK, but says some daters' preferences for taller men have disadvantaged him on the apps.

"As someone who is neither very tall nor financially well off, I have definitely felt desensitised about dating [using apps]," he says.

The 28-year-old thinks it's understandable that apps like Tinder try to optimise their matching algorithms, though.

"People have preferences based on all sorts of things," Matt says, adding these features help people "see others they are interested in, rather than swiping for hours on people you don't consider compatible".

However, he thinks daters shouldn't be too rigid about what they're looking for.

"If you were into people who are over six feet, would you really not date someone who's 5ft 11in" - if they were good looking and had similar interests?"

Matt feels it's easier for men his height to meet people offline, explaining that meeting someone in person, through mutual friends, for example, can mean a less prescriptive approach.

But Beth McColl, 31, thinks the Tinder height filter may offer shorter men some reassurance. The London-based writer and podcaster says it could help people avoid "women who only want to date really tall men".

A young women with blonde hair, wearing gold jewellery.

Beth believes some dating preferences do not serve people in their search for love

Whether or not women will actually use this feature, Beth is uncertain.

"Women typically don't have a problem with dating a shorter man," Beth says, "but they do, maybe, have a problem with dating a shorter man who is really hung up on it."

Aside from the filters, Beth believes the real problem of modern dating lies with the dating apps themselves.

"It encourages us to treat dating like picking something from the menu," she says, adding, "there's nothing in being a little bit taller that will make that man a better partner - but I think we've tricked ourselves into thinking that there's truth in that."

As to whether the Tinder move will prove popular with users on a mass scale - that remains to be seen.

"Features like this capitalise on a well-known preference - some women desire taller partners," says Lara Besbrode, managing director at MatchMaker UK. "They don't address the deeper issues at the heart of online dating fatigue."

But, she says, attraction is "not static" and can evolve over time.

"A man who is 5ft 7in (1.7m), but confident, kind, and emotionally attuned can be far more attractive than someone who ticks the 6ft (1.8m) box but lacks substance," Lara says.

Tinder told the BBC its new filter demonstrates it is "building with urgency, clarity, and focus" and that it is "part of a broader effort to help people connect more intentionally" on the app.

A spokesperson said: "Not every test becomes a permanent feature, but every test helps us learn how we can deliver smarter, more relevant experiences and push the category forward."

And that fleeting moment when stumbling across each other's profiles on a dating app can be vital, as Ashley and Joe know.

Ashley worries that people who use Tinder's new filter "might be cutting themselves off from people who're a potential match for them, rather than someone who's their preferred height".

But for now her swiping days are over, and her relationship with Joe is blossoming. He's "phenomenal", Ashley says, "super sweet".

Read Entire Article